Hopefully you’re not one of those dudes who is always complaining how he needs to get laid. If you are, you need to stop it right now because we’re about to give you 25 reasons why you could get laid TONIGHT.


  1. You already have a girlfriend.
  2. You already have a boyfriend.
  3. You have a “friend” who is really into you.
  4. You have a penis.
  5. Your penis works.
  6. You know exactly where to put it. In fact, there are a few different options for that one.
  7. You have no criminal record, you have a job, & you can see your feet. That puts you well ahead of a lot of guys.
  8. You have a criminal record, a dozen tattoos, & a bag of weed. That puts you ahead of the curve too, but with a different type of woman.
  9. You respect women & know that emotional bonding is a part of the pleasure of sex. Open up and get vulnerable, bro. Tell her how you really feel.
  10. You know how to put on a condom. If you need practice, use a banana.
  11. You know that getting laid doesn’t necessarily have to do with your money, your looks or your car.
  12. You know how to make eye contact.
  13. You know how to flirt.
  14. You check the news, so you have some interesting shit to talk about.
  15. You can tell a joke. Knock-knock…
  16. You know jerking off to porn doesn’t count. Get off your ass and meet some ladies.
  17. You’ve watched porn, so you know how it works. But you also know that porn is pure fantasy. Back to planet earth.
  18. You know that a woman doesn’t have to look like a porn star to be smoking hot.
  19. You know that she’s not going to approach you, so you’re actually ahead of a lot of guys, believe it or not.
  20. You know that pick-up lines don’t work. Just be yourself.
  21. There are literally thousands of women out there right now who are horny. What are you waiting for?
  22. You can cook a meal. TV dinners don’t count. Boiling some pasta does.
  23. You know that 95% of the dudes out there right now are either on the internet or playing video games. You’re ahead of the curve. Or you can be. Stop reading this right now.
  24. You’re interested in getting to know her as a person, not just a sex object.
  25. You can walk up to the next woman you see and strike up a conversation because you’re not afraid to take risks. Right?